DC Universe Online: Customer Support is Run by the Joker


So earlier this month, I’m so tied up in RIFT Beta that I completely lose all interest in anything else. But as we approached the last Beta, I realized, I need something to entertain me for a month or so. As it would seem, there was a game releasing this last Tuesday after the RIFT Beta session called DC Universe Online. That should do the trick. Browsing reviews, beta impressions, and comments on the main MMO sites made it obvious that this wasn’t your typical MMO of grinding XP and gear. But its PVP sounded very promising. So I pre-ordered the game, and patiently took a day off gaming on Monday ready for this release on Tuesday.

It is now hour 11, in which I can only think how naive it is of me to think I was just going to be able to login to an MMO on launch day. How utter silly of me. We were able to preload the game last night, and I did. So no, none of that 11 hours is filled with loading. There was a small 1 GB patch that took only 15 minutes to get loaded in. No, for about 10 hours I have been staring at this baby:

It takes about 5 minutes, then finally says, STFU and Leave. Actually, it says the servers are not connecting and ask you to exit and relaunch.

You go through your normal routines, checking Firewalls, Proxy settings, and even Router Ports and then you realize you are at the mercy of the forums. You can at least take comfort that you aren’t alone, not by a slim minority either. And on top of that, you can add a ton of other issues that you can at least sigh in relief to the fact you got further than that. But of all the Forum chatter in the Support Area, the responses of Developers is almost near non-existent. To when they do, they chime in with a small, almost basic responses that help no one, then disappear to never be seen again.

Well, there is this giant sticky about contact for help. How nice of that phone line to be disconnected. To the online support then … approximate wait time: 1:30 hours. Place in Queue 189. Ewww.

Well, let’s keep that open and try other things. Like sending them an email that they would rather you use instead of waiting in queue. My inbox still has the confirmation email sitting on the top position as of this post, almost 24 hours later. I’m so glad I only left work a tiny bit early instead of taking the day off. Rush to 2 hours later and a nice chime did hear, but there was a TSR, and a shiny new hope did through my eyes appear. I’ve decided not to show the TSR exact name that “helped” me. For it seems, that the script that they were given to help people, was to simply trick you into losing internet connection. So this may read not so flattering, and I’m not real easy to deal with either.

 TSR Broseph H.: no problme, I am here.
 TSR Broseph H.: is this for DCUO?
 yeah
 Stuck with the Connecting to Server Login issue, any help or advise?
 TSR Broseph H.: one more moment
 TSR Broseph H.: so you get this error when you login?
 Yes, since I couldn’t get past the patcher otherwise
 TSR Broseph H.: do you have a router?
 No, I translate the internets through my mind to the computer screen
 Yes, Obviously I would have one
 TSR Broseph H.: ok
 TSR Broseph H.: try connecting straight into your modem and bypassing your router.
 My Modem and is a Router Modem, its one in the same, no seperate porting router
 TSR Beoseph H.: Then we need to restart your Modem
 then lose this chat session
 And then have to wait for another 2 hours to chat with you again
 Nice try, no
 I have  a fast (FIOS) internet connection and it shares with nothing, not even WiFi
 TSR Broseph H.: Yes, but the port ranges may be having some issues.
 It’s not that
 TSR Broseph H.: It could be your Firewall and Proxy settings
 Those were turned off a long time ago.
 TSR Broseph H.: Yes, but the firewall can still block ports even while not running
 What Ports specifically does it need?
 TSR Broseph H.: Firwalls can set settings
 You mean internet settings?
 I already set them to default, and even took the dev’s advise on the forums and reset the IE settings too.
 TSR Broseph H.: Are you sure that the Firewalls are off?
 Yes
 TSR Broseph H.: Let’s make sure. Go to Run and find the msconfig
 Okay
 TSR Broseph H.: Goto Start Up tab, Disable all and Apply

I didn’t even blink or think about it. As soon as I clicked Apply I realized what had happened. He got me. This is just the control for what’s allowed to start-up at boot of Windows, it wouldn’t take effect now, it has to restart. Whats worse is, msconfig doesn’t give warnings for “Are you sure” on default unless you set it that way in Control panel. Your computer goes immediately to reboot. You SOB, you got me, as my computer is so fast I was practically as my BIOS boot as my left finger unclicked the mouse button. Which it doesn’t matter. Clearly they had no idea. But I was angry at myself for a while in being able to be tricked.

I actually spent way more time trying to figure this out then I give myself credit for. In the end, I only realized a couple of things:

  • When rating studios on Customer Support, don’t use 0 to 10. Use SOE to 10, because there is a rank below zero.
  • Don’t assume the game was made for up to date graphics. Check your drivers and roll them back a year if you use ATI.

Yeah, believe it or not, I’m not positive that was the exact problem, but I took random advise on the forums and rolled back my drivers for my ATI graphics card. Sure enough, I was able to create Mister Meh, Captain Obvious and Doctor McNinja this morning at  9 AM.

I almost did very little in playing as I ran around as Captain Obvious using /say to point out things like “This wall is made from bricks” and “When I fly, I defy gravity.”

Don't you dare try to steal this very very official signature.

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31 thoughts on “DC Universe Online: Customer Support is Run by the Joker

    • No apologies needed. I shared this because it was hilarious. Who actually sets up a Tech Service help routine that just finds ways for people to lose internet?

      Out of all the hate I have seen gamers rage at developers for, I never never in my wildest dreams remember ever seeing the kind of hatred that SOE gets. Wow. I don’t remember that kind of resentment when I was in SWG. And that was the worst launch since WOW. These people hate SOE, with a passion. I think I can see why.

      • I PAYED to play thist TERRIBLE game! its full of bugs glitches and bad design. I RUE the day when i even caught word of this horrilbe ill prepared game!!!! it was a great concept to bad it was in CONCEPT only. Oh when i downloaded the sound left…had to update or undate my drivers….

  1. Also, that help ticket I sent in my email. I just, only 24 hours later, received another email telling me they didn’t forget about me and they would respond as quickly as possible.

    Pretty aweful. Too bad I can’t withdrawel the request.

  2. This game seems to be filled with issue after issue.. I
    havnt heard one soundbyte from the entire game. everytime it starts
    the entire thing is silent. Yet my ps3 home screen and other games
    sound perfect. Any ideas?

    • Actually was having the same issue. I would ahve sound for a bit of time, and then it cuts out over some other period of time.

      From the forum posting and that it is happening to Windows and PS3, it seems obvious it is the game.

      So I doubt its on your side.

  3. I have to say that you have an amazing way with words, my
    friend. This seriously almost had me peeing my pants. By the way,
    congratulations! I Google searched, “DC Universe Online Customer
    Service,” and your blog was the top result. I was actually
    searching for it so that I could find a way to resolve the issue of
    the Buddy Code that my game came with coming up as already used. I
    also play City of Heroes/Villains, and I wanted to share this game
    with a close friend of mine from that game, who was eager for a
    chance to play. I am so annoyed… he does not have the money to
    buy it right now, so this would have been a way for me to do
    something nice for he and his wife (who is the other most awesome
    person on this planet aside from aforementioned first friend)…
    gah. I mean, how is that even possible? Oh, and I have been kicked
    off of the servers so many times for maintenence now that I about
    played frisbee with my ‘puter. I even asked God to strike it dead
    once, but He did not. I take it that either He plays this game too,
    or He really needed a good laugh watching me bitch my brains out.
    Because believe me, when I get frustrated, people as distant as
    China go into hiding. I digress. Funny post, and you have some way
    with words. :) Grammatically correct, no less. You rarely to never
    see that these days, as the new grammar order seems to be, “‘Sup
    peepz, I can has rant? Yo, they was so up in my grill…” So
    yeah.

    • You are just trying to butter me up. And it worked.

      The game in general has been very frustrating. Not just CSR, but the game in general. It really has only struck me interested in Champions Online going F2P this month.

      Thanks for kind words. Maybe you’ll get to read a rant of mine in the next shared game. It won’t be this one though.

  4. Holy crap you mean to tell me a new MMO has problems on
    launch? How could such a travesty ever happen with such smooth
    launches as eq2…..ffxiv….wow….warhammer online….All those
    games launched perfectly, and with this one they mess up? You jest,
    sir.

    • Oh, you have to expect bad launches. But I think most of us expect the server issues and the population problems. I’m not sure any of us expect for a brand new game to not have tested the game on upto date ATI drivers.

      The story is just to show poor CSR service, or rather TSR in this case. It was just so hilarious not to share.

      As for listing horrible launches, I’m not sure WAR should be in there. They only had really 3 problems, 5X more servers than needed, massive patching, and server population controls.
      WoW definitely probably goes down as the record for worst launch ever. What was that, if I remember a 2 week downtime for most of us.
      We have all heard the about the biggest mistake in MMO history, FFXIV. But I bring to the table memories of AION, which I would say is the leader behind WOW for worst launches. Which is sad, seeing it’s just a revamped game for the West, it was already working in the East. So that only adds to the factor of suckage, that you can’t even take a working game and luanch it correctly.
      Right behind that is most obviously AOC. Come back story of the decade, you would have thought the devs to light themselves on fire for the launch. It’s so hard to even believe they still exist as well as they do now.

  5. Here’s My experience with SOE on DCUO for PS3: Major
    in-game flying glitch Discussion Thread Response (TSR Joseph H.)
    01/16/2011 10:47 AM Hello, That is unfortunate that you do not
    enjoy the Games stellar animations on the characters. If you have
    questions regarding the billing for the PS3, I then would recommend
    you contact SCEA if you are having questions on which payment plans
    are available for you. But again if you do not like an animation or
    a look in the game, please submit feedback through the options in
    the game. If you have any further questions, please feel free
    contact us back for further support to your questions. Enjoy The
    Game! Today is the day to become The Next Legend in DC Universe
    Online! Is The Next Legend You? Thank you Joe H. Response (TSR
    Joshua M.) 01/14/2011 08:20 AM Greetings DaGimp13, The reference
    number for this ticket is 110112-001969. Please use this number if
    you need to refer back to this contact for any reason. Thank you
    for your feedback on DC Universe Online. I am escalating your
    ticket to the appropriate queue and we will get back to you as soon
    as we are able. Please let me know if you have any other questions
    or issues and I will be happy to assist you. Give us a call at
    858-537-0898 Monday through Friday, 10 am to 7 pm Pacific time.
    Thank you! Josh M. Customer Support Representative Customer
    (DaGimp13 soe) 01/12/2011 10:08 AM when your character is flying,
    the character is fine. However, if you try to fly straight upward,
    while holding a barrel, the character will fly horizontally
    (arms/Barrel & Torso) while the legs “dangle” vertically.
    This is a major flaw, as I’m unaware of ANY hero or villian that
    flies horizontally, backbone facing to the pavement, while legs
    just hang there. Really takes me out of the game, to the point it
    gets fixed within the next 2 weeks, or I quit and dont put another
    dime into DCUO on PS# (btw, thanks for screwing over PS3 users
    compared to PC users on the whole Lifetime membership Fee, nothing
    like paying approximately $240 PER YEAR to play, as compared to
    $200 for a LIFETIME, because of this, I probably won’t play for
    more then 1 year tops)
    ——————————————— so for letting them
    know that there was a MAJOR ingame glitch when flying, they
    questioned my taste on CGI graphics, which really, is the worst
    Customer Service or Technical Support EVER!!! it’s like if you go
    into McD’s to complain because your fries are cold & soggy,
    and the Cashier says “It’s too bad you don’t like the taste of cold
    & soggy fries, cuz they got salt on them!” It’s a complete
    and EPIC FAIL! now as it turned out, 1yr on PS3 would only be 135$
    +tx (approx$150/yr), but thats still almost twice as much for 2
    years of play on PS3 compared to $200 for life on PC. I can LIVE
    with that, though I REALLY despise that SOny is literally bending
    us PS3 users over on this game. But the non-working voice chat, and
    a glitch when flying (anyone notice how flying occurs at least 50%
    of the time in game? so 50% of the game is “glitched out” by this
    flying with objects BS) is reported to the Technical Support and
    In-Game feedback system, and nothing happens but basically SOE
    laughing at you, saying “Too Bad”, its time to not invest money in
    their pockets anymore. Hell, since there is NO offline with the
    game, since it doesn’t perform the way it is supposed to on PS3, it
    could be possible for full refunds, as they advertise voice chat on
    box, but its a bitch to setup, and not work at all, let alone the
    major glitch they laugh at instead of fixing. fktards.

    • Oh I wouldn’t worry about subscriptions or worrying about PC users buying lifetime subscriptions. This game is definitely going F2P by Fall.

      That’s why the subscriptions for SOE are for all their games, so EQs, SWG and someother things. No slightly intellegent player of MMOs on the PC would ever purchase a lifetime subscription, especially not when you can predict F2P pretty quick.

    • Oh, and my ticket was finally answered. Much to the tone of what you recieved days later.

      ‘Please submit feedback.’ in some many words.

      Really? I can’t get into the game and your response is please submit feedback.

  6. Outstsnding!

    I loved the text from the online worker – excellent! perfect!

    I’m such a noob that it never would occur to me that the jughead on the help line was trying to get me to drop my connection.

    But what was just plain sweetness, I mean straight sugar, were the Captain Obvious quotes.

    So 50 points and a Gold medal for that!

    Thanks so much for the humor!

  7. Hello, i just bought DCUO yesterday downloaded it spent 30 min figureing out the toon creator. started playing i noticed right off that the mob or robot guys are laging or strait glitching, running threw me threw walls, hitting me when i dont see them ECT. i made 2 other toons both villans and heros and had the same problem the farther i gotten in the zone the worset it became to the point of booting me off right at the garbage disposal area. I went threw my pc, checked everything with modem/router ect. Im lost can you help?

  8. I CANT PLAY THE GAME CAUSE I SET WRONG MY BIRTHDAY HOW CAN I CHANGE MY BIRTHDAY DAY
    CAUSE I’ 46 YEARS OLD
    PLEASE HELP ME OTHERWISE I HAVE TO THROW THIS GAME TO GARBIDGE

  9. the voice chat, group, and league are down, cannot chat or organize anyhing large scale. really need this issue resolved soon please.

  10. Wow. Hey, even if you don’t post this comment, I wanted to tell you that I’m THANKING GOD I found this – I’ve been trying to figure out for the past two hours why I couldn’t get DCUO to run properly… tried everything. I’m using a new computer with an ATI 6xxx-something graphics card – I never thought my specs would be too good for the game, and not the other way around. I’m two DirectX versions ahead of the game (if you’ll excuse the pun).

    So, you just saved me from several hours (possibly DAYS) of frustrating customer [non]service. (Speaking from experience: the online forums are every bit as laughable.)

    Also: your snark at the representative was absolutely hilarious. As were your last few lines of text, to the point where I almost hope to run into Captain Obvious online.

    So, thank you, Mr. Meh, thank you in all your sarcastic glory.

  11. I feel fooled too! as well as cheated, ripped off, robbed. I didn’t realize this game was going to cost am an additional subscription fee! I already bought the sucker for $60.00, why should I have to pay MORE to play? I am not really a gamer, I dont know the ins and outs, and what to look for when purchasing PS3 games. Whats worst is i am STUCK with this game unless i sub come to DCUO. Thats right, once you bought it, its YOURS! I tired to sell it on Amazon.com and you may only sell it if it hasn’t been used. I am OUTRAGED!

  12. Alright guys im gettin annoyed. ive played this on the ps3 and never had any issues, other then the random downtimes. so i downloaded it on my pc so i can help out a friend, but it froze at the screen u stared at for ten hours and then the STFU and leave screen. ive been trying to figure out what to do all day, tried reinstalling it, clearing the chaches, i cant even find wer u can tell wat the ie version is. ive validated, updated, everything. help plz :/

    • Well:

      1) Article is over 1 and half years old. I stopped playing DC Online, pretty much the day after I bought it.

      2) If you need help, commenting on a blog complaining about Sony isn’t going to help you.

      You need to call them and see what they can do.

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