I Have My Capslock Moments


I’m not always well-mannered. Shocker, right?
I can rage. Of course the way I type isn’t what I exactly feel. But … every so often I just can’t remain quiet.

So, I’ve lost for a short amount of time, quite a bit of our level 50 player base to Mass Effect 3. And since I have no desire to have gay ass sex, in game (comma on purpose?), I have taken the time to try to ninja a Sage to 50 while everyone is kind of away. I should really be working on grinding Valor on my Commando who only needs just a little more time to be Battlemaster, but I really despise the fact he’s not a Warrior Priest at heart. Even though I gave him a shaved head with a beard, he just doesn’t do it for me. He’s okay, I just don’t like the 2 heal button rotation life.

Anyways, I’m on my Sage and I’m leveling correctly this go. Which is DPS spec, not healing, and I’m in a Civil War Warzone. Here’s how it plays out:

We all load in. Random Player 1 notices that we have 4 of the same guild in team 1. The Hand Banana are such guild. They are not a PVP guild from my experience. But hey, anything’s better than complete PUGs, right?

So, Random Player suggest that Premade go Right, PuGs go left and some poor sap goes Mid just for funzies. I, of course volunteer, as I agree with such planning. “Outsides” win Civil War. Distractions make that happen.

And sure enough, everyone does what they are supposed to. Amazing. We take left, we take right and I … I keep 5 morons occupied on Mid for roughly 30 seconds.

Then suddenly, as I am flying back overhead I notice we lose Left (West). I don’t know the specifics, but we are now 1/3 Turrets. Surprisingly, as I land I find that 5 party members are rushing Center (Mid), and successfully take it. Wow.

Literally, as someone finishes typing “Okay 4 on Mid, 4 on Right” there a 3 purple Dots headed for East. Mid is overrun and quickly captured. We are talking not even a minute of Warzone and it’s pretty crazy overturn of points.

I can’t grasp what just happened. Why … why does one leave a sure win to stupidity? How does one over come superiority and throw that to the wind? I /ops and say:

“I’m going to say this as calmly and appropriately as I can …”

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL DOING?
WHY DID YOU LEAVE MID?”

Which is met with:

“Wow, nerd rage much bro?”

Which I find an appropriate response to capslock, but not accurate to the events that came into play. And I share this story only because it had a great analogy. It’s also the best paraphrase I could remember. The screen shots weren’t taken at the right times. Too much inbetween crap it would take 5 Screens to show it.

“Guys, I’m going to explain something in all sorts of emotions here:

1- We gloriously gain both Left and Right in the beginning
2- We sadly lost Left immediately
3- We amazing regained Center
4- We then decide to say FUCK YOU TACTICS and went mindlessly to our deaths at LEFT and Lost Center

We had the ability to win and decided that was too easy?

You just scored lucky with a hot chick. You have a little trouble with her bra, but she does it for you and invites you To Take This Now, and your all’s response was to …

MOUNT HER, TURN AROUND, AND TAKE A SHIT ON HER STOMACH!”

Some LOLs, but mostly STFUs.

Here’s what was the saddest: While typing the longest stream of thought rant I have ever been able to coherently do in anger, I had, no joke, 3 solo kills trying to take back Mid by myself. I was watching 5 AFKers on RIGHT while doing it.

I probably had the greatest PVP moment I ever had by myself. A 1v1 followed with a successful 2v1, taking Top Damage (by 3 times the next up), Top Kills, most of which Killing Blows, 3 Solos and still having Top Healing, all while lecturing with glorious satire. The greatest! And I was sharing it with 7 other twits that earned basically the same rewards and valor as me by AFKing on an Objective.

I’ll repeat … I DO NOT LIKE THE LAST PATCH FIX for 4 MEDALS EQUALING 2K in VALOR. Fuck you underacheivers.

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