Imma Piss You Off

I don’t mean to shit on your parade, I really don’t. But I am Mr. Meh. And though at times I can be positive and energetic, the simple fact of the matter is I’m truly just an argumentative defiant jerk, and I calls it like I sees it. And I see a lot of shadows and blurrs, and my whiskey sometimes makes me bitter. So brace your chair, your ass cheeks, and your optimism and turn back while you still can, cuz imma bout to piss you off.

((deep breath))


There’s no way it’s going to be an expansion.
There, I said it. Stop reading, go to my comments and flail away.

The honest simple matter of the fact is a google translation of ‘new content’ does not equal OMG PWN NOOBNESS EXPANSION OF EPIC PROPORTIONS. New content could be anything. As simple as more weapon art or as complex as totally new character customization.

T5, new races, new classes, new areas, new gear …. ummmmm… nope. I would love it, but nope. We would have seen hiring post, not layoffs. We would be getting fed more info, instead of vagueness. You just don’t go building an expansion and keep it secret. I mean really, how successful will a ninja expansion be?

Surprize, expansion!!! That’s super effective marketing right ‘der.

Name me a developer that didn’t go to the top of every mountain and scream ‘We have an expansion coming,’ the absolute moment the budget was laid out for the acquisition. ‘OMG, we have some investment money!!! OMG OMG!!! We will do an expansion, it might take 2 years, but its coming folks, please don’t leave us. DONT LEAVE US YET!’ A comical adapation of a developer, but none the less true.

‘So hey, huh, we actually been working on some new stuff. Its like cool and shit, ummm … so it’s like ready and stuff… here you go.’ Yeah, that seems like a good idea. Lose your populations to a majority of players just looking for new stuff, while secretly working on ‘new content.’ I mean Ninja > Pirate, right? You’ll win. And all those players that rage logged will just flock right back after hearing your whisper of expansion in the wind.

So, short of August ending and Mythic going “EA has approved a budget for an expansion, we should have it ready in a year,” I don’t have high hopes for an expansion any time soon if at all. Though some might, I don’t. I read and read and talk to people online, the excitement is overwhelming from all sides. People are in just such a frenzy of what these secret revelations to come at GamesCon Cologne and GamesDay Baltimore are, that I think they lost their realism and sense.

I mean in 2 years of game play, the gaming breakthrough was keeping up with constant tweaking and fixes. Sure, we got 4 new classes eventually; please overlook the fact that they should have been ready at launch, despite what the former devs said. We did get a Free Expansion, which led us to believe the momentum was there, but then new content just died after Hunter’s Vale. In the first year, we received new content every other month. In the second year, we received SC weapons and a redesigned city eventually in 6 month intervals. Both great things, but it’s been a year. And in a year, I have made and lost a lot of friends, all leaving for the same reason, they were going nowhere.

So I say to you Mythic, you are a cruel cruel prude. You have all these adolescent boys at your place, feeding them lines and hints, they are practically nutting in their pants. ‘OMG, we are going to get lucky.’ You are killing them with suspense and you left vague all over your intentions. And in that void and lack of information, the masses went right to the extreme and have convinced themselves of an expansion (IE oral sex). So when you go to finally state what it is that you have, rage is going to consume them. The natural reaction of any little boy that was expecting Voltron for Christmas and got rip-off G.I. Joes instead. RAGE.

So what are my guesses on the announcement:

Best Case: New Zone (LOTD Mirror) – Complete with one-sided RvR, broken dungeons, and chinese gold farmers. What realm to put it in though? Hmmmm … I don’t know, how about Skaven.

Most Likely: A Neat Live Event (Hunter’s Vale Mirror) – Frustrating one time offer to go grind for some epic jewelry or fancy dancy pocket pet. It will be eventually retired to sit in the middle of no-where in a T2 area. Ready for a group of PUGs to go wipe in it constantly, and rage log forever.

Kind of Likely: Content Update of a Sort. Like custom stat armor pieces, 4th Mastery Trees, or the Introduction of even more CC (Like a 17 second Flatulence Effect  – you become limp and have to stand there in embarrassment for that time, you can try to cast things, but there potency is not enough to satisfy your Witch Elf).

Unlikely: EA has approved for us to make new content. The new content will consist of new classes like, Jedi, I mean Greatswords, and Droids, I mean pets, and Sith, I mean Execuitioners. The expansion will be called Star Wars: The Old Republic, I mean Warhammer Online: The Old Empire.

I’m not afraid of calling it out. There will be no expansion, because if there was, it would have leaked by now. So go ahead, rage now on my comments (I’m an attention whore). It’s best to get it out now.

FYI. I apologize ahead of time. I really thought the CC Flatulence idea was funny, but I do realize that if Mythic reads this, it could come true. If it does, I’m sorry, but I still regret nothing.


22 thoughts on “Imma Piss You Off

  1. Yeah, I’m not excited for 1.3.6 or 1.4

    All it looks like to me is a PvE Skaven faction that will muck about in RvR lakes when there’s no action.

    Would love to be proven wrong, but… meh is right.

  2. The Producers are paying you to lower expectations aren’t they?

    I totally agree from what I’ve read that there won’t be an expansion.

    It will definitely be a total revamp to oRvR as they have stated that this is the thing to be fixed/revamped/overhauled/takenoutbackandbeatentodeathandreplacedwithabetterandroidversionfromthefuturetokillyouandyourmother

    I think it will be like what they did with DAoC when they totally redid from the ground-up the RvR in the game. It seems they are just going back and un-reinventing their reinvention of the wheel in WAR. Is that a bad thing? I don’t know. Will it be good? Probably.

    • Yes, plx no new content. Rebuild the existing one and I’ll love you forever Mythic! I’ll go offer sexual favours for the bosses of EA if you actually revamp the RvR, so you get more money!… or might be less.

      Oh and some fortune telling: SWTOR and 40k MMO will be same shit as WoW only set in their own “unique” universe. Oh hey, I can do that too. Fortell the future AND destroy people’s hopes and dreams! :D

      And Meh, if the new content does turn out to be a full expansion, with bunnies and whores and all, you gotta eat your own hat. Or something. :P

  3. No rage from me, Meh.

    If there’s an expansion, I wouldn’t expect it in the near term at all. Perhaps it will be an announcement like you say, “EA gave us some cash, we’re gonna use it.” If it’s a LOTD Live Expansion announcement … meh.

    The problem has been that the game launched with so many issues. They’ve been playing catch-up for 2 years to bring the game to a place where it functions as it should have. Makes me wonder what the heck Mark Jacobs did with all the budget they had to develop the game? Probably went into his pockets or was spent on blow.

    I enjoy speculating on a grand scale because it’s fun … ultimately not realistic … but fun. I’m hoping for something worthy of the hype about this announcement in that once RvR is finally fixed, then new stuff can follow. I mean, Ultima Online got an expansion around this time last year … WTF? Whether we get one or no … we deserve one.

    We’ll wait and see. Once the announcment comes down … we’ll all be writing about it. I hope you’re wrong (but something inside me says you’re right). DAMN YOU MEH!!!!!

  4. Whatever Carrie has to say this month, I’m willing to bet that it’s nothing we’ll see in 2010. The recent warning that 1.3.6 would be the last patch before 1.4, but we shouldn’t expect a normal delivery schedule, affirms this in my mind.

    A late 2011 release is entirely possible, should WAR live that long.

    • Looks to be that SWTOR will not be the RvR or PvP that we hoped for.

      So long as no MMO can challenge this PvP, then WAR shall be fine.

      W40K will hurt a bit though. SW was the only that could kill it, and they dont look like they are using the RvR model.

  5. Yeah, I’m hoping that the announcement they make will be about an expansion. But I’m not counting on it.

    They do need something new and cool though.

    However Blizzard is doing it’s best to reinvent all the best areas of WAR in their expansions so all is not lost. I’m going to love Praag…I mean Gilneas in Cata. :p

  6. Your mean MR. Meh! :-(

    I’m still expecting a expansion news but I figured it for a announcement along the lines of:
    “We’re going to make a expansion it’ll be based on X, Y or Z it’ll be done when it’s done”

    Kinda like the LotD build up announcements to hit a year off or something.

  7. There could be a an expansion announcement, but they may well decide to keep the public gestation period very short.

    So annoucement in August/September, release in January, to catch the post xmas lull. Also allow Cataclysm to have had a fair share of time. No point in trying to entice someone from a game, if you haven’t let it run it’s course.

    It takes a lot of effort to maintain a buzz and the last attempt at that, when Warhammer launched didn’t go to well. So Mythic could well be playing there cards a lot closer to there chest this time.

    If they announce and go with 4 months “publicity”, then you have less time for people to go blah blah blah about it. Which I think will be a lot better than a long burn, which WoW has had on it’s latest release.

    We all know it’s got to be a mover and a shaker type of expansion and we all know expansions are good for getting people back in the game. Mythic will have been trying for the last couple of years, to get the game ready for people to come back to Warhammer.

    • I agree with that. However I point out this:

      Mythic may have known that. But its not Mythic, its BioWare run Mythic owned by EA. Neither of the two know what the fuck they are doing in an MMO, as EA has so clearly flaunted for 2 years now.

      EA did finally turn a profit once again this last quarter, and now has share to 33% of the Computer gaming world, surprisingly. That rise in gains might = more budget for expansion and taking back hold of subscriptions you should of had for awhile. But … that just doesn’t like EA style.

      Low cost and current subscriptions = profit, why mess with that?

      You want me (roleplaying EA now) to spend how much to get how many subs back? Exactly how many people will come back from an expansion, and how many will it take to override that investment. And how exactly are you justifying expenditure to shareholders that are finally seeing profits after 2 years of investments only after calling for massive layoffs and cutbacks, and now we want to spend again?

  8. So it’s definately just a patch. They tossed around 1.4.x in the latest pts q&a session. (transcript over at bruglir’s blog)

    We could have found out more about stuff relating to orvr but people felt it was more important to ask about w.elves/marauders/sm’s. They had the dude who does orvr around to answer questions ferchrissakes!

    Interestingly they gave the crickets when asked about non-combat systems being added into the game, ie player-housing or improved crafting. It’ll be interesting to see what relates to that part of the announcement. Guild halls? I wouldn’t mind a nice table or footstool crafted from an engy’s turret.

    I’m still guessing that they are completely stripping orvr down and rebuilding it but, it also seems like they are going to give players something new to tool around with and suck up their time.

    My guess? Pokemon.

    • 1.4.0 doesn’t neccessarily mean that there won’t be a 2.0.0 eventually.

      However if 1.4.0 is the ‘big’ announcement, then that’s exactly the point of my post. You fucked up Mythic, you went down the road of vague and mysterious and got everyone thinking 2.0.0, when you shoud have been a bit more clear, so we could get excited about 1.4.0 instead.

      You done fucked up.

      • I think it’s entirely plausible that Mythic is building confidence with BioWare, not EA.

        I think under whatever agreement BW has with EA is a certain amount of autonomy. ie. We know what the fuck we are doing, so give us the money and chill.

        With the positive movements of Mythic’s leadership in terms of putting together good content, content that works and is playable, and a commitment to polish, that may be the ticket to getting the funding for that unicorn known as an expansion.

      • Well I would think thats the problem right there. BW and EA know how to market and to sell big at release. Maintaining subscriptions and managing maitenance cost are quite new to the two. Its Mythic that brings that experience, and those that know have been sacked. \o/

        I think the only ticket to getting the unicorn is by proving Spending X (investment for an expansion without taking from other resources) will be less than Y (instant Revenue from X)

  9. Pingback: Imma Eat My Hat « Mr. Meh

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